The scariest thing you can do is let go of the things that keep you safe.
Growing up, I was told to get good grades, go to college, get a job , and work hard and move up and live a comfortable life.
For most people that plan works. It makes them happy and gives them the security and stability they need to live their best lives. If that is you, stop reading - except my parents because they love me and read everything I write, obviously.
There is nothing wrong with that plan. That plan is beautiful. It gives structure and safety and a 401k and a family and a beautiful, organized home with time for the club and friends and curling up on the couch with your partner at night. For a really long time, I thought I wanted that.
Writing about that plan makes my chest tighten and my hands sweaty. It makes me panic. To me, that plan is a death sentence, an early coffin for my soul. I need blurry lines and glitter and fantastic adventure. I need MORE.
:::cue Belle twirling in the field singing >I want adventure in the great wide somewhere...I want so much more than they have planned< damn that is a catchy song and it really spoke to me as a child:::
So this is the year I go for it. There are so many things that I have held onto for fear of the unknown: relationships, jobs, stagnant ideals; and more and more I become less and less content. Waking up before six a.m. so I can teach kids does not ignite me like it does my coworkers. Designing a new lesson because someone on Twitter said it was the new best practice makes me groan. I already lost my insurance when I dropped down to part time (sorry, Dad). I am depressed by the idea of going to work every day.
However, I am lucky, because I am impulsive, stubborn, and a little bit of a dreamer. I also have a job that I work way more hours a week (80+). I get excited to go to my sessions and plan blogs and even do my accounting (okay, not all the time, but still, it's better than a 5:30am wake-up call). It gives me the freedom to talk to my dog all day and go to the dog park at 1pm, or volunteer teach at my son's school. I make my own rules and my own schedule.
And I am good at it.
Never in my young life was I told I could be my own boss and be successful. It was not in my schema. Over the years, I worked hard to develop my passion and figure out how to do exactly that. Now, I am at a position where my safety net is hardly being used and I can finally let go and fly free.
I wish, sometimes, that I had started earlier, and discovered this way of life when I was 15, 18, 22...how far would I be now if I had cultivated my creative side? I look at my own son. I hope he knows he can be who he is and he does not have to fit into a specific pattern or role. If he really wants to be a fire dancer (this is our current desire), he better work to become the best damn fire dancer that ever existed. The point is that it doesn't matter what he is, as long as he works hard to be the best possible that.
If you are one of those people who is looking for more, let me know - shoot me an email or send me a message - and let's talk about how we can make your dreams a reality. I promise you it is hard work and you will cry and want to give up, but if you don't, it will be so, so worth it.
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