Just Engaged? A Grounded, Non-Overwhelming Guide to Planning Your Wedding or Elopement
- Jan 8
- 6 min read
WOOOHOOO! You are ENGAGED! The planning for one partner, the joy of another - this season of life is beyond beautiful for you both.
Just Engaged and Not Sure Where to Start?
As you start planning your celebration to kick off your marriage, use this guide to give you perspective, resources, and a centered approach to your wedding or elopement.
This post is intended to help you decide what to do after getting engaged (and how quickly), lay out elopement planning steps (if that's the route you want to go), and provide valuable insights for your wedding planning timeline (and how to take your time or make up for time).
You're Engaged: now what?
First thing's first: make sure you celebrate and enjoy this moment. There are so few monumental parts of life, and getting engaged is one of them, so take the time to give this chapter its justice.
Announce your Engagement
Many couples do this step in stages, and some do not. My advice - tell the people closest to you before announcing publicly. Wait to post the pictures (ahem, make sure you hire a professional if you can), hold off on the subtle hints on your social media - tell family and friends personally.
Not only is this for their benefit and out of respect, but it builds the excitement even more.
Insure your Ring
If you didn't do it at the jewelers, insure that ring. Add it to your renter's/homeowner's policy if you can, and make sure you have a certificate of value to go along with it for documentation.
Then, go on Amazon or Etsy, and buy a "fake" ring. I know it sounds silly, but this is something you can wear while traveling, doing activities, or even just out and about in areas you are worried about theft, etc. I have 10. They are fun and a great way to keep that "engaged" vibe with less risk.
Celebrate for Real
Whether you plan a party, or privately celebrate with a special dinner, about a week to a month after the proposal, take time out to really celebrate the event.
Schedule Formal Engagement Photos
If your proposal photos were about capturing the surprise, engagement photos are about having formal photos to announce your engagement. They are cool, too, because you are in your normal clothing and showcase your genuine connection.
Worried about taking them too soon? No such thing. Also, who says you can only do one session? Consider booking multiple shorter sessions to showcase different aspects of your relationship, seasons, etc.
Before you Start Planning Your Wedding
Notice how I didn't say anything about wedding planning yet?
Some people rush into planning the next day (or have been planning secretly for months), but really. It is okay to take time to enjoy the ENGAGED part of this process.
Eventually though, start having hypothetical conversations with your partner. Talk about vibe, location, size. I encourage you to explore what-ifs, too: what if we elope? what if we have a small wedding? what if we go somewhere to get married? what if we do a separate day for our ceremony and portraits, then a different day for our celebration with everyone? what if we get married in the city...country...mountains...
...you get the idea.
Talk about the what-ifs and start to tease out what feels like YOU. Do this before you talk to your family and friends and create a solid foundations of must-haves and absolutely-nots for your celebration(s).
Considering an Elopement? Start Here
If an elopement isn't for you, feel free to skip this section.
However, if you hear the word elopement and you stick on a reel, or your ears perk up, hang tight and bear with me. I am about to give you some very valid reasons to plan an elopement (and obviously book Wild Elegance as your elopement planner + florist + photographer).
Before we go any further. You do not "get eloped." You elope and get married.
Sorry, the English teacher in me couldn't help it.
What is an Elopement?
Elopements were traditionally where a couple "ran off" and got married without any family or friends present to witness the marriage. Often these were done secretly to prevent objection or other conflict within the family.
The modern term elopement simply means when a couple has a private marriage celebration: often with just an officiant, two witnesses (or a handful of people, typically fewer than 20) in a non-traditional wedding celebration. These can be hiking adventures, urban dinner parties, courthouse ceremonies, Vegas-style shenanigans, or simply a wedding at home.
I am going to break some of your hearts here, but elopements are not completely stress-free. There are some logistics to iron out (what to wear, marriage license, location permits, etc.). However, I would argue most elopement are at the bottom of the marriage stress barometer.
Elopement Planning Steps & Timeline
So what steps should you take to plan an elopement - if that is the route you might go?
Decide WHO is going to be at your elopement.
Decide WHERE your elopement will take place.
Secure your location & pay any fees (parks often require permits).
Research and obtain a marriage license.
Hire your vendors/services as needed:
Officiant (except in the states below it may not be needed, but always check for updates AND county-level rules)
Colorado – No officiant, no witnesses required
Illinois – Self-uniting license available
Kansas – No officiant required
Maine – Self-uniting marriage permitted
Montana – Allowed only if one party is a resident
Nevada – Special self-solemnization license
Pennsylvania – Quaker/self-uniting license
Wisconsin – Self-uniting option available
Washington, D.C. – No officiant required
Photographer + Videographer - most elopement-specific vendors in this category offer both
Florist
Hair/Make-Up Artists
Food + Dessert
Book travel if needed.
Purchase attire/accessories.
Purchase rings if you will have them. Get insurance!
Finalize itinerary (feel free to ASK ME for help).
Invite your guests (most people will need time if travel is required).
ENJOY your marriage celebration
Elopements are not for everyone, but they also are for everyone at the same time. Sometimes when a couple starts planning an elopement, it turns into an intimate wedding (fewer than 75 people), and more steps are required. Sometimes the couple decides to have an elopement ceremony with a big reception later on.
All of these options are valid and right celebrations of your marriage.
Wedding Planning Timeline
No timeline is the same. But, there are a lot of milestones that make planning easier/more relaxed - which is what we are all about. So, if you are planning on having a big wedding, check out this skeletal timeline to help you plan.
18-24 months out
Book your venue
Write out your guest list
Shop for and Order your wedding dress if you need one
Hire a planner if you want one
Order Save the Dates
Engagement Session #1
12-18 months out
Send out Save the Dates if your wedding guests will be traveling
Order attire (other than wedding dress)
Finalize your timeline
Order invitations
Order wedding bands
Finalize decor
Finalize floral
Interview and book catering
Interview and book photography
Interview and book DJ
Set up Wedding web site
8-12 months out
Interview and book dessert/cake
Interview and book Hair & Make-Up if needed
Purchase all decor
Purchase wedding party gifts
Engagement Session #2 (if you want one)
Empowerment Session (if you want one)
Skincare routine begins
6 months out
Send out Invitations (RSVP 2 months before wedding date)
Finalize all vendor timing & details
HMU Trials
Make sure you have SHOES/accessories
Ongoing: collect RSVPS and wonder out loud why it's so hard for people to just RSVP
3 months out
Final vendor meetings
Schedule Individual Portraits in attire (if you want them)
Fittings for Attire
1-2 months out
Final count to Venue/Catering
Final fitting for attire
Make and small adjustments
Finish any DIY stuff you took on when you were more optimistic about DIY wedding stuff
Month of
Final Hair Cut/Color at least 2 weeks out (unless you want to be freshly lined up)
Final nail appts. week of
Facial w/ dermaplaning
Remember to drink water and relax
Put together a box of detail items for your photographer
Get rings cleaned
Whiten teeth if you want to
Enjoy your wedding <3
You Don’t Have to Plan This Alone
These lists aren't completely inclusive and there are so many variables to every celebration, so do not hesitate to reach out and see how Wild Elegance can be a resource for curating your celebration - no matter the style, location, or time.
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